The Plain Values Podcast EP #09 – Ryan and Sara Heckert on Adoption and The Good Life

Sara Heckert:

They called us four days later and said, surprise, the baby was born. The birth parents chose you. And they’re on speakerphone right now.

Marlin Miller:

Oh my goodness. No, they did not.

Sara Heckert:

Oh yeah, they did on a Sunday night.

Ryan Heckert:

I would just say if you in anywhere in your spirit or soul, if you have that touch of adoption, that’s not by accident.

Marlin Miller:

A person with Down Syndrome is typically much more Christ-like than we will ever be. Hey guys, I have Russ Ramsey’s. Rembrandt is in the Wind, and on page 1 78, he says, the Bible is filled with stories of racial division of people who esteem themselves as more noble than neighbors. They’ve reduced in their minds to godless caricatures. It is the story of the God of the universe telling his people to commit themselves to the wellbeing of the Sojourner, the poor, the orphan, and the widow and God’s people struggling to find the humility to live out that holy calling.

I don’t know of a better description of what my wife and I want to be about, of what plain values wants to be about and what Ryan and Sarah Heckert want to be about. Earlier, we sat down with them for about a 45 minute conversation, and they are just wonderful folks. They work in the special needs world. They have adopted two little girls with Down Syndrome, and it is a joy and an honor to call them friends. And I know that you are going to love the conversation. Yeah, that’s all I have to say. I hope you enjoy it. I am so glad to tell you that Berlin Seeds is our newest sponsor of the Plain Values Podcast. Now, Berlin Seeds has become a staple in our house. It is my wife, Lisa’s absolute favorite seed shop, store catalog, everything in between. Now, granted, they’re only 10 minutes from us here, but they do a wonderful job.

You can find them at Berlin Seeds Life. Their catalogs are wonderful. If you call ’em, you get a real person. And guys, every single seed they send out is non GMO. There are no gimmicks, there’s no shady anything going on. They are wonderful. If you are a beginner and you are testing out a couple of tomato plants and you want a few seeds or planting acres of veggies for a CSA, they have you covered from everything in between. They do a wonderful job and they’re just the coolest people. You’ll love them. Again, Berlin Seeds life and tell ’em Marlon sent you so well, Ryan, tell us about TWI. Tell us what the workshops Incorporated is and does and how you got started and what you do and all of that.

Ryan Heckert:

Well, I feel like I always kind of knew that I would be in social services in some way, shape, or form from an early age, became aware of some kiddos that were peers that were friends that just weren’t quite like the rest of my friends or myself, and was always just intrigued and interested in what their story was and who their friends were, and just immediately sort of saw the distance between their life and a lot of the lives of my peers. And so kind of was just connected with that early and so always had an interest of closing that gap and ultimately you had to make a choice with what you’re going to do with your life. And so went into social work at Malone University and during that time worked in a capacity as a direct service professional. We call them DSPs today.

Back then, I think it was probably just direct care, but worked for about three years for a company in Stark County, working in a home with four guys who lived together and was just there to support them and care for them and cook for them and sometimes clean up vomit and clean toilets and do all those things that they either didn’t want to or couldn’t, but sort of knew professionally that that was something that I wanted to do because I also began to learn of the case manager that would come into the home and work with the guys and develop their plans and talk to them about what was important to them and sort of formalize their services. And so having that passion and interest from a young child, a young adult I think, and then working my way into school and then paying the bills with the frontline direct care job just sort of came into this profession of working in the disability community.

Marlin Miller:

How old were you when you started that job?

Ryan Heckert:

I was probably 20, I think. So I took a long way through college and it just wasn’t a direct path, and so I didn’t finish my undergrad until I was about 24. But yeah, so started there and worked. So yeah, it was quite a journey, but left the role there and immediately into becoming a service and support administrator for the Stark County Board of dd, which

In quick study is just sort of like a case manager there to make sure everything goes well for adults. And so worked in that field, in that department, in that area for about 12 years as a case manager or a service and support administrator, and then became more involved in a leadership position and then took over some things with the county as it relates to the dollars and cents and the movement and the authorization of dollars, and then some provider relation development sort of roles. And then in 2015 just knew that I wanted to continue to progress in the field and provide more leadership and have a greater reach and finished grad school. And right about that time, an opening for the Workshops Incorporated came up, which at the time was sort of the nonprofit business arm of the county board.

Marlin Miller:

They were connected.

Ryan Heckert:

Yes. And so since 1968, the workshops Incorporated has been arm in arm and connected with the county board. I think in every county across Ohio. In some capacity you’ll have the county board, and then you’ll have a nonprofit sort of business arm of that county board that worked on the employment side of the adults. And so I came in and was charged with the job of privatizing or starting the services for TWI as their own provider. And so the county had to get out of the business per some state legislation of being a provider of services across the state. Everybody had to slowly move out of that role and become more of a funder and less of a provider of the services. And so TWI, due to its history and just all of the synergy was chosen to sort of privatize everything. And so I started in 2015 to do that.

And so since that time, it’s been about 10 years. We serve about 400 adults on a daily basis and do it across a wide array of areas. And so our sweet spot is employment, helping folks find jobs, keep jobs, but we also have a small footprint in residential care. Sort of where I started in the DSP work is just being with people in their homes that they rent or guests in their lives, so to speak, or in there caring for them, a lot of transportation. And so across 400 people, we have about a hundred staff that carry that out on a daily basis. And we have maybe three or four buildings. We sort of recently opened up shop in Mahoning County. We’re sort of replicating what we do, but in a lot of different areas and ways and shapes and forms. That’s what we do is ultimately provide people with meaningful services. We want them to live their best lives and we want to of foster the skills that help ’em be independent.

Marlin Miller:

And inside that you probably have folks who are pretty severely handicapped, and then some that are

Ryan Heckert:

Much

Marlin Miller:

More higher

Ryan Heckert:

Function. We have the wide array, so folks that need total care and we’re there to support them and keep them safe and provide as much recreation as possible for them. And folks that drive themselves into work and hop out of the car, jump on our crew, work, get in their car, and go back and live their lives. And so it’s a wide array of levels of care that we provide. And that’s fun.

Marlin Miller:

So let’s change gears for a second. How long have you guys been married?

Ryan Heckert:

This month will be 13 years.

Marlin Miller:

13 years? Yes. Tell us about Gigi’s Playhouse.

Sara Heckert:

Oh, okay. Gigi’s Playhouse is a nonprofit down syndrome achievement center that they’re all over the country and they have, I don’t even know how many brick and mortar locations now, but a group of local parents got together, I think back in 2017 ish and said, let’s bring one to the Stark County Canton area. So we did, we opened in 2019 in Canton, and they provide free services for anyone and everyone ranging from therapy type groups, one-on-one sessions, toddler sessions, adult cooking classes, and everything in between.

Marlin Miller:

So it’s so interesting to me how you guys are both really active in the special needs world and with your children that you’ve adopted, which we’ll get to in a second. Where did your hearts for this come from?

Sara Heckert:

We heard a little bit about yours. So I had an aunt with Down syndrome, my mom’s sister that I was just enthralled with as a child. And I just looked up to her until I was not too old, taller than her. So I didn’t look up, physically, look up to her much, but cared for her as she aged and just was very close with her. And then I actually have a brother with autism, and so obviously grew up with him, was very close with him, went on to get a degree in special education from Kent State University, but never taught. Went right into working at the county board of dd, also as a service and support administrator. Here we go.

Marlin Miller:

Is that how you guys met?

Sara Heckert:

Where the path

Marlin Miller:

Intersect you met? That is interesting. I didn’t know that.

Sara Heckert:

That’s how our paths crossed. Yeah,

Ryan Heckert:

I was, yeah. And so you’ve always been in

Sara Heckert:

Yeah, I

Ryan Heckert:

Was born

Sara Heckert:

Into this world.

Ryan Heckert:

Yeah, it was life for you from birth For me, I think I found it later on, just I remember just being angered at seeing the bullying that would happen or the kids getting picked on and just would just create a fire in me and always wanting to deliver some social justice. I probably shouldn’t have, but so I think Sarah May have been sort of born into it, and I kind of fell into it just years and years ago. But our paths crossed at the county board, and I knew we both knew enough about each other at the time to know that our rest of our lives would probably be spent vocationally and through work in the community working. But then we also decided to adopt too, but we’ll get to that.

Marlin Miller:

Yeah. So what was your aunt’s name?

Sara Heckert:

Karen.

Marlin Miller:

Karen,

Sara Heckert:

Yep.

Marlin Miller:

And she’s She’s

Sara Heckert:

Passed. She passed. Yeah. Yeah, she lived into her fifties though,

Marlin Miller:

So really

Sara Heckert:

Pretty healthy.

Marlin Miller:

Wow. See, I had an aunt as well, and she passed in her early thirties. She was gone far too soon, but yeah. What was her name? Her name was Alma

Ryan Heckert:

Elma.

Marlin Miller:

Yeah, she was an Amish gal and she was also very short and a little on the round side, but she was great. And it’s interesting, you and I have the old school family Connection where my wife, I think as much like you, Ryan, where she did not actually grow up with a lot of kids with special needs. And so it’s been a journey for her as well. But let’s talk about your adoption stories. This podcast is sponsored by my friends at Azure Standard. A while back, I had a chance to sit down with the founder, David Stelzer, right here at the table. And we had a great conversation. I love the Azure story. They started out as farmers back in the seventies, and I think in 1987 they began a nationwide food distribution company. And guys, they are non GMO Organic. They do it right, they do it so well, and you can get a truck to drop food right in your town. Check ’em ou*@***********rd.com and tell ’em Marlin and Plain values sent you. Tell us about your biological

Ryan Heckert:

Children. You have

Marlin Miller:

Two.

Ryan Heckert:

So I was previously married, and we have as parents, Luke and Lana. So I tried for Luke and Leia. I’m a big Star Wars fan, but I got Lana and Luke pretty close, but Lana is 19, almost 20 here, and just finished her freshman year at Ohio University where she’s pursuing nursing.

Strong, independent, just is a hard worker and is just kind of blazing her path and it’s long gone. I’m grieving the change in our relationship from her not needing as much and doing more on her own. And then our son, Lucas 17 and works very hard at being a good baseball player. That’s sort of his vision. He’s a junior in high school and looking forward to playing baseball in college at some point. So yeah, they are great kids and it’s been a journey. We were married when they were about how old were they?

Sara Heckert:

Little

Ryan Heckert:

Two and four, three and four, three and five, somewhere around there. So yeah, it’s quite a journey. And then we adopted.

Sara Heckert:

Yeah, I always say even I always wanted to adopt since I was 12 years old, just never wanted to have children of my own. And even before we dated, I said, I just need to make sure that you’re okay with this, at least being open to it at some point. And he’s like, well, I’ve kind of already got my kids, and so sure I’m open to the Lord’s leading in that area. So yeah, so we were married a couple years and all right, it’s time to start talking about it more seriously. No, I have to dig back in the archives of, it’s obviously lots of options with adoption we could foster to adopt, we could adopt locally, we could adopt internationally, and we knew our strengths obviously are in the DD world, if you will. Whereas we also were very open in Fort Worth. Our strengths were not with maybe dealing with some of the emotional traumas that come with children in foster care.

And so we obviously then leaned into special needs adoption and started just doing research online, looking around at the people we knew locally that have adopted kids and decided on Down syndrome. Obviously it’s heart in my past, and I don’t want to say it seemed easy, that’s not the reason we chose it, but we are familiar with whatever, even though Down Syndrome, of course has a wide range of abilities, we felt like we could probably handle that and what might come with that better than, and really anything else. So we linked up with the National Down Syndrome Adoption Network, which is actually how we met. Yeah, Stephanie Thompson, just shout out Stephanie.

Marlin Miller:

That’s right.

Sara Heckert:

And yeah, just got on their registry and did all the home study checks and all those good things. And we had even looked at international because we had talked a lot with the kids about it, about here’s the different kids available, Reese’s Rainbow and different organizations, and just learned and sort of observed and watched what they thought was a good idea for us, or they said, well, she’s in a wheelchair, have a lot of steps in our house. That’s probably not a good fit. I’m like, yeah, you’re right.

So yeah, so landed on wanting to do the infant thing. I hadn’t had children and Ryan was willing to get back on the bike. So we waited for an infant. We waited, ironically, we waited about nine months. I know of paperwork. I came close a couple times nine months with private infant adoption. Basically, the way the National Down Syndrome Adoption Network works is they have sort of a waiting list of parents like us who were waiting to be linked with a family that maybe was looking to place a child, whether the child was in utero or already born or older. And so we were queried on some folks lists maybe half a dozen times, and were not chosen by the birth parents. And after a while, that gets a little, but I was working at our church at the time, running an adult day program for adults with disabilities, similar to what Ryan does, and just had started that program and then was looking, alright, let’s be planful. I don’t want to just leave them high and dry. So sort of planned and had a succession plan that we rolled out and was going to be finished. 12 31 15 was my last day of work. We got a call on twelve twenty eight fifteen that, Hey, there’s this unique situation we want you to be considered for. And so we were said, sure. We talked about it and threw our hat in the ring. And four days later, the baby wasn’t due until March 4th or something, and they called us four days later and said, surprise, the baby was born,

The birth parents chose you. And they’re on speakerphone right now.

Marlin Miller:

Oh my goodness. No, they did not.

Sara Heckert:

Oh yeah, they did on a Sunday night. We were getting ready to send the kids back to school after Christmas break and

Marlin Miller:

Oh my goodness,

Sara Heckert:

I didn’t have a job. And I was like, what am I going to do with my life?

Marlin Miller:

They had birth mom and dad on speaker phone when they told you that has

Sara Heckert:

To be like the most what not to do in social work. I feel like because we were having mean every myriad of emotions you could think of. I mean, we were excited for us, of course, but then obviously instantly grieving for them. And obviously the baby was born nine weeks early, so there was a concern there as well. 31 weeks, born at

Marlin Miller:

30. Wow.

Sara Heckert:

So there was like, whoa. We weren’t expecting this for two more months, NICU the whole bit. So that was the first one.

Marlin Miller:

Wow. Babies with Down syndrome were often born early, but nine, I mean, that’s tiny.

Sara Heckert:

She was two pounds, 3.5 ounces.

Marlin Miller:

Oh my goodness.

Sara Heckert:

Yeah. 14 inches long. Just bigger than a ruler. Really?

Ryan Heckert:

Oh my goodness.

Sara Heckert:

A little nothing.

Ryan Heckert:

We have a picture of her. I love Chipotle burritos and I get them stuffed as much as they can possibly

Sara Heckert:

Double meat.

Ryan Heckert:

Give me I’m, give me as much as you can without getting in trouble. You’re equating the size. And so we have a picture of my burrito next to Ava. Are you joking? And it is comparable. I

Marlin Miller:

Love it. That’s awesome. So you can literally call her your little burrito.

Sara Heckert:

Little burrito baby.

Marlin Miller:

Oh, my girl.

Sara Heckert:

See now she loves Chipotle. She’d eat it every day if we let her. We set the tone.

Marlin Miller:

Oh my goodness. So that was the first one.

Sara Heckert:

That was Ava. We are blessed. I mean, her birth parents are very kind. They live in a neighboring state. We’re very close with them through the process, very communicative, healthy individuals,

Marlin Miller:

So heart and digestion and respiratory, all

Sara Heckert:

No issues, no issues. She never had any, she was even discharged the hospital before. She was four pounds taking this little burrito home in a car seat.

Marlin Miller:

Oh my goodness.

Sara Heckert:

Yeah.

Marlin Miller:

So how much, I mean, sorry, I just lost my train of thought. How long was she in the nicu?

Sara Heckert:

We were discharged on around Valentine’s Day, so maybe six, seven weeks.

Ryan Heckert:

And I was driving back and forth on the weekends from Canton. Thankfully, we have family that lived close to the hospital, and so we were able to save quite a bit of money by staying with them and not being in a hotel every night. But

Sara Heckert:

Yeah, luckily she was born in a neighboring state, so not too far so drivable. And if I had any paperwork that needed done, I could quickly run home and grab it and come back.

Marlin Miller:

Wow. It

Sara Heckert:

Was a fun time to think about that.

Marlin Miller:

Wow. So looking back on let’s say the middle of December before she was born, how was that process the same or different than what you had in your mind, your expectations of we’re going to throw our hat in the ring. This is probably going to go X or Y way. Right. We’ve walked a similar path. How was it for you as dad looking at this tiny little burrito? I am sorry. I just love that. That is awesome. I’ll find that picture and send it to you. Never going to forget it. I’m never going to forget that

Ryan Heckert:

I was exhausted going into that phone call. We were Oh, for five, right? And so Sarah mentioned the rollercoaster and it was almost sort of a numb feeling. Like, okay, here we go. We’re going to put our name in the ring again, and I’m not going to get excited this time because I’ve done it three times and rip my heart out all three times. You see the pictures, you start imagining what life is going to be like. You start imagining what the little kid is going to be like, and you just allow yourself to start to experience parts of the joy that’s coming.

And then that gets taken away. And that’s part of the process. And you just have to learn it. And millions of people can tell you that it’s going to happen, but you got to feel it. And so when this call came, I was just like, okay, we’ll see what happens. But then it just started falling. Things started falling down, and we could see more and we could get more affirmation that this was coming. And so looking back now, just I haven’t thought about it. You’re so wrapped up in getting ’em out the door this morning for school and making sure their hair’s combed out and that you remember to put green cheese in their lunchbox because they’re going to get upset at lunch if they don’t. Don’t to

Sara Heckert:

Think, did you? Because I did too. So maybe they have double cream cheese today. They

Ryan Heckert:

Might that I forget to think back. And so I didn’t really feel the joy and the release until we walked into a room and Ava was in a isolette, is that what you call?

Sara Heckert:

Yeah. It

Ryan Heckert:

Reminded me of those 1980s hockey games that had the big bubble on them. And she was inside and she was so tiny, and she had all these tubes and things going, and that’s when I knew that this is happening. There’s no going back. They’re not going to take this kiddo from us. So that was the release for me. But the journey has been,

Sara Heckert:

Which is crazy because Sorry to interject, they did change their minds.

Marlin Miller:

Really.

Sara Heckert:

They chose us and we found out early January, and then they said, we just we’re not sure we need to put this whole thing on hold. So

Ryan Heckert:

And this was after

Sara Heckert:

We

Ryan Heckert:

Were there?

Sara Heckert:

No, yet

Ryan Heckert:

This was before we went.

Sara Heckert:

Yeah.

Ryan Heckert:

Okay.

Sara Heckert:

So we were packed and they’re like, just hold on a second. And we were like, holy crikey. Oh my. So just, I talked to the birth mom several times throughout that time and put my social work hat on. I don’t have a social work degree like Ryan does, but just said, Hey, we can get another baby. This is your baby. You can do this if you want, I’ll help you. I’ll point you in the right directions. I’ll link you up with whatever services you need. And obviously, ultimately they chose to place her for adoption, but that was a bump in the road that we’d heard of. But there we were living it. And then two weeks later they called and said, okay, we’re ready to proceed. And we were in the car so fast, let us get there and meet her. And from there it was good.

Marlin Miller:

Yeah. Wow. Wow. Yeah. That’s a bump. That’s a bump in the road for sure. Wow. So now little girl number two, how did that whole process come around?

Ryan Heckert:

Well, that was a surprise, not a surprise. It was, I think Sarah was, what did you just do? And it’s, yeah, a little scheming what was going on. Well, knew how his beer was working. Yeah, he certainly moved. I think we got into a rhythm with Ava and Sarah. We began to talk more about what would it look like if we did this again? And so I’m certainly open to it. I think we’re desirous of like, Hey, we got this. Let’s keep rolling. And it’s not a bad idea to have a peer and a sister and a friend for Ava. And so I sort of thought that we were walking down that path and we were looking at kiddos and we started looking internationally. I think at that time we sort of knew that it was going to be a little bit farther of a journey. And so ultimately landed on hoping that we would be matched with Anna. And Sarah had sort of already in her mind, and literally too had been thinking and praying about Anna to the fact of part her clothes in her closet. And in the back is a picture of Anna printed out that she had been praying over. And so I did not know that Anna was already in Ava’s heart, or sorry, Anna was already in Sarah’s heart. But it worked out and the timing was perfect.

Sara Heckert:

We would’ve gladly gone back to work with the national Down Syndrome Adoption Network, just a wonderful agency to keep plugging them. But we knew it would be challenging to find a toddler in the us. So that’s really what drove me to look internationally, because also some international countries, the country we went through, your youngest child in your home had to be at least three. So we had to wait until Ava was three, but there was a number of parts of the process we could do before she was three. And so believe you me, we had a large transition at work. We sort of got through that, and then I did all the backend things of the paperwork. And then as soon as Ava turned three on 12 30, 1 15, by the way, which was my last day of work. I love that part of the story. I forgot to mention that.

Marlin Miller:

So you were matched with Anna on 1231.

Sara Heckert:

So we had to wait until Ava turned three. Sorry, I should have said back to Ava for a second.

So Ava was born on my last day of work from the church. I planned my six month succession plan, and then Ava ended up being unexpectedly born on my last day of work, which is fun to think about. And she’s a party girl, so she’s a New Year’s Eve girl for sure. Anyway, so we waited until Ava turned three and then we could submit some paperwork for Anna. It went very quickly. The process went very quickly. I mean, I always joke that we look good on paper just with our professional background. And obviously we’ve walked this path before. So requested Anna’s file, reviewed it pretty quickly. And

Marlin Miller:

Was this a country that had multiple trips, multiple things, or

Sara Heckert:

We were able to go in one trip in which was nice

Marlin Miller:

And finalized over there and brought her home. And she was yours?

Sara Heckert:

Yep. Wow. Yep. It all went very, very smoothly. But really it was about one year almost to the date from start to finish.

Marlin Miller:

So when Ava was turning three, you already had your ducks lined up, and how far apart are they in age? 11 days. 11

Ryan Heckert:

Days. Despite being from opposite ends of the globe, 11 days, neither of them knew, nor did we how it would all end up. They were affectionately referred to as the twins.

Marlin Miller:

Wow. And are they best friends?

Sara Heckert:

Yeah. And sisters. So it’s still sometimes like Anna? Yeah, nonverbal tattling. I see.

Ryan Heckert:

I love it.

Sara Heckert:

I love

Ryan Heckert:

It. Anna is quite the diplomat and Ava is the reason that there needs to be a diplomat. So just very opposite. Very. I love it. Very polar opposite.

Sara Heckert:

We’re very grateful that there’s one of each of them. If there was two of that, one or two of that one, we’d both have a lot more gray hair. I wouldn’t be

Ryan Heckert:

Here. Yeah, it’d be tough. Wow. Wow. But best friends, indeed, just at the dinner table last night, they were hugging and Ava said to Anna, you’re my best friend. And it just said, and just hugged her back and they were back into their tacos.

Marlin Miller:

So did you say Ava is mostly nonverbal?

Sara Heckert:

Ava is No. Ava is very high functioning, I would say if you consider the range very intelligent, very street smart, very clear speech. She had every opportunity from the jump here in the States, whereas Anna did not, don’t know a lot about her history or her past, but was very well cared for in her home country. She was with an organization called Love Without Boundaries, which is wonderful, wonderful organization.

Marlin Miller:

I know. I know

Sara Heckert:

Them. Good people. Wonderful program. And so they cared for her in her country. And again, I had gobs of medical records over 3000 photos and videos of her from the time there. So she just was well cared for.

Marlin Miller:

You had 3000 photos and video.

Sara Heckert:

They released those after the adoption was finalized. And so we have all her baby pictures. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Really special to have those because some parents get nothing from an international adoption.

Marlin Miller:

They have absolutely nothing on the history or context of anything.

Sara Heckert:

Nope. She had a full complete AV canal repair in the country, and it was done well. I had worked for Akron Children’s for a short time, and so before we even went to China, I created her a chart in Epic. And so we were able to get appointments much quicker when we got home because she was already an established patient. So we were able to get her heart checked and they said, yeah, whoever did this did a great job. So yeah, their health, both of them have great health. They have no medical problems at all. It’s a miracle

Ryan Heckert:

Anna had was referred to as bilateral poly dadism, which is just an extra digit on each hand,

Sara Heckert:

Extra

Ryan Heckert:

Thumb on each hand, extra thumb. So we did high sixes for about first three months until we got that repaired. And so went in and one afternoon under the knife, and she came out and we were in cast for a couple of weeks, but

Sara Heckert:

Up to

Ryan Heckert:

Now there’s just little scars and faint memory.

Marlin Miller:

So is it okay to talk about China?

Sara Heckert:

Yeah.

Marlin Miller:

Is that okay?

Sara Heckert:

Yeah.

Marlin Miller:

The girls are now ten nine.

Sara Heckert:

They’ll be 10 this year.

Marlin Miller:

They’ll be 10 this

Sara Heckert:

Year. December.

Marlin Miller:

How long ago did China close its doors?

Sara Heckert:

Well, 2020. So we just made it because we went in 2019.

Marlin Miller:

Wow.

Sara Heckert:

So I don’t know that holy urgency that was in me obviously must’ve been coming from somewhere because she was one of the last batches of kiddos to be released.

Marlin Miller:

Well,

Sara Heckert:

2020,

Marlin Miller:

As you were talking about that, I mean, I’m sitting here and I’m doing math in my head and I’m thinking, I know that they shut their door not that long ago, but long enough that nine or 10 that’s

Sara Heckert:

Pushing that. So we were three and a half. The girls were three and a half when we traveled, and then they, which July, August. And then they shut the doors in January, February, 2020. And as you probably know, some parents that were traveling to get their kiddos were literally on the plane and had to get off, and it’s been closed ever since. There’s still a lot of effort behind the scenes legislation trying to push through to get those kiddos released. But a lot has changed within China. A lot of the federal programs, they’ve pushed to the provinces, and it’s just heartbreaking.

Marlin Miller:

This is a total, well, it’s a bit of a off the beaten path, but I remember as a young guy hearing about the one child per family law, and then I remember hearing that they bumped that up to two, and I remember thinking, that doesn’t seem like it’s a great idea. I mean, you have this massive population and all of those unintended consequences that come alongside of that just are, it’s hard to imagine.

Ryan Heckert:

I think that makes me think of Anna’s parents, her birth parents, and what were they experiencing and what caused them to just a few days old, bundle her up in a car seat and leave her on the steps of the police station,

Marlin Miller:

Which is a lot better than a lot of children get. Absolutely.

Sara Heckert:

And who knows what really happened. I mean, we get a story, but we don’t know what really?

Marlin Miller:

Yeah, that’s amazing.

Sara Heckert:

We know she was scooped up early and loved early and she understands love. She had no problem attaching to us. Her and Ryan are buddies. She falls asleep on him almost every night. She wants him to put her to bed. And I’ll get a high five or a hug, but two of them are buddies. I’ll wrangle that other crazy one that we have.

Marlin Miller:

Oh man. What’s next for your family? Do you have any idea? Are you done adopting

Sara Heckert:

A nap?

Ryan Heckert:

I think we are in surviving mode right now. Sarah has gotten back in to working and joining the professional workforce, and I think our girls are loving life and being young girls and playing baseball and having friends. And I think we’re just in a rhythm right now where I don’t know that we’re thinking about or even talking about until now. What’s next? We’re being Would adoption be on the table? Sure, of course. But I mean, it’s not part of the active conversation, I

Sara Heckert:

Think. And Luke is a junior, and so he’s doing a lot of baseball stuff. So we want to allow him to finish well with that and see where he lands in college. And we always talked about, maybe we’ll revisit because I think we both could see we both love babies. The girls love babies, maybe doing foster babies or something like that. I dunno. But we’ve never, I’m not

Ryan Heckert:

Trying to be 60 years old going to a graduation. No.

Sara Heckert:

For my kids, I don’t know that we would adopt. Again, we’ve very, very casually talked about keeping them peers if we were to adopt again, so maybe not getting anyone a lot older or a lot younger, but we’ll be running our own residential facility or so. But we love the girls. My mom is a huge support to our family right now, so she’s in good health now and does well with us. But our parents are aging and they’re all close and local and we’re very close with them. So we want to make sure we care for them well in their later years when that time comes. So

Ryan Heckert:

We dream about putting a tiny house on the property and letting the girls live there. Who knows ways, independence,

Marlin Miller:

But still having them close

Ryan Heckert:

By. Yeah. Yeah. I think that would be great. But hey, we’re going to follow their lead and try to honor what they want to do within reason and ability. And

Sara Heckert:

I think we’re both palms up, hands out, whatever the Lord will lead. We’re in the grind right now as many families are with kids graduating and just the girls are in school, they’re doing really great in school. We have a really great school system with a lot of support. But if we were to be plopped in the middle of Holmes County, I think we would do just fine there too. We’re just, the girls are very adaptable and flexible and along for the ride. Really

Marlin Miller:

Well said. How can we pray for you guys?

Ryan Heckert:

Well, I think maybe just that exact conversation is that maybe we can begin to hear what is next and receive that and be obedient. I think it’s hard to see and hear that when there’s so much noise and there’s so much commotion and there’s so many schedules and calendars and appointments and little margin. And so perhaps finding that margin so that we can hear and listen and act, I think. What do you think?

Sara Heckert:

Well, and we really enjoy the girls, so I could see us even maybe not adopting or fostering, but just traveling with them. They’re great travelers.

Ryan Heckert:

We took Ava to China with us. Did you really?

Sara Heckert:

Oh yeah.

Ryan Heckert:

To go get Anna.

Sara Heckert:

Yeah.

Ryan Heckert:

And she did great. I mean, she was very young at the time,

Sara Heckert:

Three and a half. But yeah, travels,

Ryan Heckert:

Sarah takes them a lot. We take them a lot to little overnighters or they love to swim.

Sara Heckert:

Yeah, they’re along for the ride. I can’t think of a better way to say that. They’re up for anything.

Ryan Heckert:

Wow. Yeah. So prayer, maybe just enjoying this.

Sara Heckert:

I always wanted to do have an organization where we travel with our children with disabilities and we’re evaluating how we’re received at hotels or venues or luxury spas perhaps. No. And we just see how each organization handles special needs requests and whatnot might exist. It might not. I don’t know. But that would be fun.

Ryan Heckert:

I like it could get into that.

Sara Heckert:

Throw yourself on that sword.

Marlin Miller:

So you guys would be the perfect family to do something like that. That’d be great.

Sara Heckert:

We usually are treated pretty well. I mean, we talk about the girls wear their disabilities on their faces, so it’s not like autism perhaps that you can’t physically see. They see the girls, they see that they have special needs and hey, why don’t you guys come to the front? Okay. Or go meet the pilot or all of those opportunities that they’ve had. So it’s pretty fun for them and fun for us to see. And I think we’re both big advocates for them just living a very normal life as best they can. And how can we support them and what they want to do? Will they live with us? We don’t know. Maybe they’ll kick us to the tiny cabin in the backyard. I don’t know. They might

Ryan Heckert:

Be taking care of us. Anna. Anna would be the caretaker. She is such a great soul for seeing that someone needs help and just going right to it. Yeah.

Sara Heckert:

In China, she was the oldest amongst those children in the little foster setting because she’s just such a very sweet heart. They never sent her back to her home orphanage. They should have, but they didn’t because she’s not going to hang there. She’s just such a tender soul. And we’re glad they didn’t because, but therefore, then she became the oldest and cared for the other little babies in there, even though she was only three.

Marlin Miller:

Just a natural,

Sara Heckert:

Just a sweet,

Marlin Miller:

Sweet, mothering instinct. She is

Ryan Heckert:

Very much like that. That’s incredible.

Sara Heckert:

Ryan says she’s the nicest person on the planet. He believes that.

Ryan Heckert:

I believe that. I think you stack all, however many million are on the planet right now. She’s top 10.

Marlin Miller:

Yeah.

Sara Heckert:

Pure. Very pure

Ryan Heckert:

Ava. No,

Sara Heckert:

No.

Marlin Miller:

My dad always said that, that a person with down syndrome is typically much more Christ-like than we will ever be. And I just think, I mean, I see that in our kids often, and I think you guys see it and the innocence and the purity and the joy. I think a lot of people have this assumption that they’re always happy. That’s not true. Negative. That’s not true. And I’m guessing I used to think that, yeah, it’s not true. But boy, I can very much appreciate your thought on her being at the top 10. Yeah, she is. I’m telling you. And doesn’t know there’s no stranger anywhere. Guys, this has been so good. Thank you. Thanks for coming and just sharing, bitsy your story. Thanks for having us. I love it. Any final thoughts or anything?

Ryan Heckert:

I would just say if you in anywhere in your spirit or soul, if you have that touch of adoption, that’s not by accident that you’re feeling that. And I would just encourage anyone that if they’re catching those fields to keep walking forward because that’s something that is greatly needed. But that’s the only thing I would say. What about you? Anything?

Sara Heckert:

Same?

Marlin Miller:

I can’t add anything better than that at all. Well, thank you. Gosh, thank you. Thank you.

This is great. This episode of the Plain Values Podcast is sponsored by my friends at Kentucky Lumber. When Derek from Kentucky Lumber and I first talked, one of the first things that we talked about was his story of their family and their business and how that all came to be. And what I found really quickly was massive similarities in their family stories and Lisa and I, our family story from the adoptions to the business side of things, it really comes down to Derek and his wife and Lisa and I basically saying the exact same thing where we basically said, Lord, if you want us to adopt and foster children, you’re going to have to bring us a bigger house and a bigger income. And that’s exactly what happened in Derek’s case. Two weeks later, a guy approached him about buying his business and his home. In our case, it was a little different a couple years later, but he provided everything that both of our families needed to live out the calling that he had put on our families to care for the children that he was going to bring us. And I adore that.

Having the faith to step out and say, if you want us to do this, you got to provide the way. There’s something so great where you give. Not that we don’t give the Lord the opportunity to do something, but I think it’s especially wonderful when you have the attitude that you have to do this in a way that I can’t take any of the credit. It is literally so cool and so absurd in a way that only you can get the glory. And I just love that. I love Derek and his family. They are the kind of people that I want to do business with. And I have a feeling you’re going to find the same thing. You can find hi*@***********rs.com.

In his book, Rembrandt Is in the Wind, Russ Ramsey says that the Bible is the story of the God of the universe telling his people to care for the sojourner, the poor, the orphan, and the widow. And it’s the story of his people struggling to find the humility to carry out that holy calling guys. That is what plain values is all about. If you got anything out of this podcast, you will probably love plain values in print. You can go to plain values.com to learn more and check it out. Please like, subscribe and leave us a review. Guys, love you all. Thanks so much.