Grief is the price of love.
That line, shared from the pulpit at a funeral, made Marlin pause and reflect.
It caused him to consider how often we hold back from deep relationships out of fear of getting hurt.
We were built for genuine connection, Marlin reminds us. Yet most of our daily interactions stay surface-level (“I’m fine,” “Everything’s great”) because going deeper means risking vulnerability and exposing our true selves.
But the few people who ask “How are you?” and truly mean it, who create a safe, judgment-free space, become the rare and treasured friendships we all need.
When Marlin looks around at the immense pain, grief, and brokenness in the world—from violence and trafficking to everyday hurts—it can feel overwhelming. But our Creator doesn’t turn away.
He cares deeply. And He calls us to be His hands and feet, to be a safe, loving presence for those around us.
These short, heartfelt Minutes with Marlin deliver quick moments of wisdom, faith, humility, and encouragement… perfect for busy homestead days when we need a gentle reminder of what really matters.
Learn more about Plain Values at https://plainvalues.com
Transcripts
Marlin Miller:
Grief is the price of love. That line was shared from a pulpit at a funeral from a little lady who passed at 57 years old from cancer. And it made me pause about the times that I am afraid to put myself out there because of the risk of getting hurt. Totally selfish, if you’ll notice. I think we were built to be in relationship and to be in friendships that are genuine and are deep. I think most of us, most of the time when we meet someone, “Hey man, how’s it going? Hey, how are you? ” We hope that it does not go deeper than, “I’m great. Everything’s fine. Everything’s great.” Because it means that we have to bear our soul. If we’re going to be honest and we’re going to be real, we’re not fine. And not everything is great, but we don’t trust that other person far enough to be that real.
There are a few guys that I know and love and look forward to talking every chance that we get together because I know that there’s an authenticity there. And when they ask me, “Marlon, how are you doing?” I know they mean it and they actually care. And there’s no judgment. There’s no condemnation. They’re just real and they just love me. It puts them in a different room in my mind because I feel safe off the bat right away. I know that I’m with someone that I can be real with. When I look around at the massive amount of hurt and pain and real anguish all around us every day and everywhere we look from terrorist bombings and ethnic cleansing all around the world to modern day slavery and trafficking and the abuse that we pour out on each other as people. When I look at all of the grief and pain, it’s almost too much to bear.
I think it is too much to bear and I have to look away. And I am so thankful that our creator does not look away. He cares. Genuinely he cares. And he asks us to be his hands and feet when we’re here, when we see how much the Lord really loves us and how much he gave to give us a way out of that on an eternal scale. It’s an incredibly humbling thing and it causes you to not turn away. The pain is everywhere. The people who care are not. May we be the people that love and are that safe judgment free zone for the people around us.
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